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Showing posts from January, 2023

9:30 29.1.23 9:36

 Ken and Sally are the most genuine people I have ever met. This morning I am in awe of their lives. I am beyond thankful they have allowed me to be apart of their masterpiece. Ultimately, I do view their lives as a masterpiece. Because of them I am living in the most beautiful house. There is food in the kitchen. I have been taught how to make use of every item. I am learning how to relish in life. Everyday is the same, yet this is all so new to me. Everyday is the same and that is my favorite part. They have heard me cry. They have forgiven me. They do not judge me. They understand me. I am beyond thankful for them. I have never met any one as lovely as they are. Together, they create the perfect team. Their smiles are endless. I pray that they can feel my gratitude.  
 25.1.23 12:59:00 Today I am so fucking irritated. I wish to throw my head through the window and jump into the icy lake. The "winter storm" could never be enough snow to bury my heated anger. The frozen ground would melt under my heavy stomping. I would run straight through the geese and dive. Hoping for hypothermia. Hypothermia has always been my preferred suicide method. I always expected it would be in the middle of the forest. I would hike as far away from everyone. No one would hear my screams as I ripped my clothes of my body and felt the burning sensation of dying. Yet, today the anger I have is making me imagine a moment where I wasted my ideal death (decomposing into the Earth). I am day dreaming of